A Blessing in Disguise

It’s been 365 days and I thought I couldn’t come this far without you.
If oxygen was vital for life then you were my breath of life
Always excited about what tomorrow entails because I get to tell you about it.
Every day the butterflies in my stomach multiplied till my cheeks hurt.

It’s been 365 days and I thought I couldn’t come this far without you.
Day by day, the good mornings and the good nights began to slowly cease.
The excitement of telling you about my day began to be like a rose at sunset.
Conversing with you began to feel like the morning cold slowly putting out the fire.
The butterflies in my stomach were now disappearing.

It’s been 365 days and I thought I couldn’t come this far without you.
It began to sink in me that I’ve been trying to light a fire with wet firewood all this time.
And now, I’m all out of breath, my palms blistered and a heart badly scared.

It’s been 365 days and I thought I couldn’t come this far without you.
I finally decided to write the final page of your chapter in my book.
I couldn’t keep forcing myself to write when my ink was already running out
and I was only hurting the pages of my book.

It’s been 365 days and I thought I couldn’t come this far without you.
However every morning since, I realized the pain was God’s phone call to me.
I’ve been ignoring his text messages and I guess he knew a phone call would make me pick up.
And it did, I picked up his call and woke up to realize
I’ve been making excuses for a love that wasn’t mine.

It’s been 365 days and I did make it without you.
Every day I’m grateful to have learned that my happiness was never dependent on a good morning text.
Every day I’m able to smile and laugh and it’s like the healing tears of a phoenix dripping on a wound.
Every day my soul smiles, knowing that for the kind of love I give deserved its equal.
It’s been 365 days and I’ve made it on my own.

By Sahmukeu

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